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Submitted on
May 19
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 I met her by the vending machines.
We spoke in breaths…and that’s it.

It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Naked speech, we had nothing to hide.
We painted our names red in the skyline.
And nights we kissed the stars and waved goodbye.

I could have stay there until I died.
Until my heart became coffin nails.
Only she could have made me live like this,
Off of crappy food and TV static.

We made the moon bow down to us.
And the stars worship us.
Could have survived in space
From the air exhaled by the two us

Can’t go on like this.
With this ardent love.
This place returns my sense
For while.

Ever loved something so much it hurt your stomach?  
She had me so high; thought I found Jesus.
She rode off in that bus; never saw her again.
Close the book, even fairy-tales ends.
 
I don’t know why I sank this ghost ship
I guess some secrets you just keep on your lips.
Other you use to touch the stars
Like diamonds you’ve dreamt of from afar.

I remember you well
From that hotel.
I closed my eyes
And you said,

Can’t go on like this.
With this ardent love.
This place returns my sense
For while.
For a while
For a while
For a while

Can’t go on like this.
With this ardent love.
This place returns my sense
For while.

Can’t go on like this.
With this ardent love.
This place returns my sense
For while.
A song about heartbreak, we've all been there, Let the melodies sooth your pain.

Based on true events, though I changed details. For one, it was a park not a hotel..but hotels are so much cooler.

Listen to it here: youtu.be/8Q0ezoJyfdY
FREE DOWNLOAD: tinyurl.com/oc5fhyo

------------------------
Links:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/DylanSetoArti…
Bandcamp: dylanseto.bandcamp.com/
SoundCloud: soundcloud.com/dylanseto
Deviantart: xxdraxx.deviantart.com/
Youtube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCuQA8…
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:iconshocker7776:
Shocker7776 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hola, amigo, it's Shocker. I listened to the song, and here are my thoughts. There's good and bad to this song and I'm going to say each. Criticism is the best teacher after all. (Gods know I could use it from time to time. xD)

Lyrics-wise, I liked it. I enjoy love songs and sad songs greatly and merging them is always fun. The symbolism, metaphors and all that other stuff you get drilled into your head in English class was great, very well done. I liked it. So A+ here! I'm also a fan of rap and I feel it works here. :)

I love the music in the background, it's really beautiful. I like the piano, it's super pretty. Actually, it remind me of a song....something by OneRepublic. Was inspiration drawn here? Perfectly fine if it is, after all, there is no such thing as a completely original idea. All artists draw inspiration from somewhere, even their fellow artists. Anyways, I love it.

Now for the part I'm more conflicted on, the vocals. I have pros and cons of it. Let's start with cons, shall we? Get the bad out of the way. Well, the vocals have an odd feeling to them....They feel slurred, as others have said, I suppose? The rap part felt a bit, I don't know, thick in a way? Like the words were too close together without room to 'breathe' so to speak. I'd suggest adding a bit more space between each word if possible. (But I am not a singer, nor a musician, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.)

Now onto the pros of the vocals. They sounded very cool. The echo, along with the slurred feeling, gave it a dream-like feeling. If there was a music video for this I'd expect a blurry white border around the edges, like they do in shows when displaying a character's memories. The dream feeling combined with the quiet and pretty lyrics give it a great, almost lullaby-like feeling that I adore. So, pros and cons weighed together, I'd say it's pretty good.

So, all together, I'd say it's a fantastic song. Great lyrics, background music and vocals. All-in-all, I love it. :D

:icontheruneplz: ~Shocker
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:iconxxdraxx:
xxdraxx Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Student Artist
The way I write lyrics actual has nothing to do with English class. Haha. I actually just write A LOT and use to analyze song lyrics for the hell of it.

I don't actually listen to One republic, so that's an interesting comparison, I always aim to cross genres so I'm not going to fight it. I get a lot of Yung Lean comparisons too, for some reason, that one I don't really get. I guess because my music has kind of an ambient feel to it.

Thank you :)
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:iconshocker7776:
Shocker7776 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
xD Yeah, I was just using those terms because I'm a writing nerd sometimes. But that's cool, writing is awesome and so is analyzing things. It's fun.

Hmm, guess your music just has that kind of feel. Still, it's great.

You're welcome and good luck!
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:iconxxdraxx:
xxdraxx Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2014  Student Artist
Oh, I'm well aware of what the terms mean, I was just saying my technical ability doesn't stem from me paying attention in school but rather me analyzing more Walt Whitman than I can handle. If I read ever read Song For Myself ever again, I will probably be directed to a psychiatric help.

The thing is, I could never get into Yung Lean, I hate his music, he has a reputation for being a White lil B where people like his music BECAUSE it's bad. I don't get it. Whatever.
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:iconshocker7776:
Shocker7776 Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
*Tries to go read "Song for Myself"* *Is intimidated by the size* *Shall do that some other time* But I get that. xD

Ah, that makes sense as well. I've personally never heard of this Yung Lean, but I know similar artists. (If I hear 'Anaconda', 'Blurred Lines' or any of those other songs, I may snap.) I don't get why songs all about sex and violence are so loved. Even the feel of their music sounds terrible to me, as if most popular music is all mass produced to sound similar and work off the same idea.

Or maybe that's the bias talking. But that's why I like artists on YouTube and such, like you. Their music is more creative, more inspired. It's not as much to make money as it is to have fun and do what you love. The songs often have great meanings, great ideas, great sound, great everything.

....Or maybe that's more bias talking. XD
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:iconxxdraxx:
xxdraxx Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014  Student Artist
To be honest, I've grown to accept (and even enjoy at points) mainstream music. I got in Drake about a year ago, although he isn't and probably will never be my favorite artist, he does have tracks that really stand out that aren't his singles. Nothing Was The Same was a really solid album with some super ambient hip-hop tracks, which to be honest, isn't THAT different from what I did on this track.
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:iconshocker7776:
Shocker7776 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Okay, colored me impressed. I listened to the song and it wasn't too bad. Still a change from my normal style of music (pfft, I don't even have a style anymore. A flip flop is more consistent than me), but nonetheless good. Mainstream can be good at times, but I guess I never seem to end up hearing the good stuff. My local radio stations only play the bad-yet-somehow-popular stuff. I have to make do with YouTube and whatever music I can download. :)
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:iconprincesspeach20:
PrincessPeach20 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Here, I made a little review of your song if you don't mind (Don't worry, I gave credit). fav.me/d81hmrz
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:iconxxdraxx:
xxdraxx Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Student Artist
Thank you :0 I read it a while ago but only had time to get back to you now. I'm glad you liked it!
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:iconprincesspeach20:
PrincessPeach20 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Your welcome!
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