[x]

EducationEducation?
See that's what they call it.
But they teach us to do, not to think.
A genius doesn't answer every question perfectly,
A genius questions every answer given.

A system that judges success by the amount of bills you have,
Makes you work to the bone,
Cuts your soul in halves,
Make us seem like a bunch of clones?

Are we nothing more than machines?
Fill in the right answer, nothing more is accepted.
Thrown away if you can't follow instructions,
Is this in efforts in increase production?

Shall we drive the passion away from everything?
When everyone tries only to survive,
Shall we exist solely to die?
A system that compl

HeartI left my heart's door open,
But no one walked in.
I laughed but no one laughed with me.
All that's left is a symphony.
It's coming from the back of my heart.
I'm waiting for someone to hear it.
Will you listen?

For a man diesBreathe Slowly,
For a Man dies every second, locked in the grip of the sky.
Walk with every step in mind,
Every twitch of a finger,
Every sound, from your head to the ground,
Keep them in mind.
For a man dies every second, the beginning of an eternal dance with the one in the heavens.
Remember every follicle of hair,
Every eye that stares, every moment of fear,
An evil glare, remember it all.
For a man dies every second, and a child cries for his death.
Live today like you'll wither the next,
For we too, can be locked in the reaper's grip.

I BelieveIt's December 21st, 2012 in Montreal.
      First thing in the morning,
           I look outside my bedroom window and it's snowing.

No wait!
      It's raining.

WAIT – NO!
      It's snowing.

Hold on…
     It's raining again.

It's kind of like this city's friend died,
     And it can't decide if it should give the cold shoulder
          Or if it should cry.

Walking down the street today is like walking across a beach during summer vacation.
     Except the water is sub zero,
          And every now and again you'll have white petals knocking on your head,
As if it wants to tell you something.

Our cities are changing.

Still Beautiful to MeWhen people tease you for the way that you look,
Please know this isn't your war.
Close the book. Burn the pages.
Our soul is like a piece of paper,
Easily ripped to pieces,
Though beauty is hidden between pages,

You sit still contemplating how to please those you hate,
Will you become one of them, or will you be yourself?
You let your inner demons lead the way,
As you follow aimlessly, is there any point to life anymore?
Your whole world turns grey,
Your eyes go blank; will you make it through the night?

Your life is still worth the pain,
It gets better in the end.
I know because I've been through the same.
My feet have the s

UmbrellaWill you be my umbrella?
That shelters me from the shards of glass that fall from the sky,
The hate, the depression and the lies,
Even within the mist, all I could see is you.
Even within the clouds, all I need is you,

During my darkest days,
You lifted me to the skies,
You took me away,
To places that I thought never existed.
Even though you weren't perfect,
Even though you let in rain every now and again,
I still held you tight,
I did my best to show you the light.
You sheltered my soul from the loneliness of this world,
You became my wings, my reason for living.
My umbrella.

Don't Look BackI can see it in your eyes,
Inside,
Your breaking, shaking,
You feel like you've been forsaken,
Like the smallest of organisms,
Ants,
Worms,
Bacteria,
You feel lower than them.

Who are you? No one cares,
They'll brush you off,
As if you were the wind,
Why do they hate you?
You've committed no sin,
Why do they hate you?
I guess it's no reason at all…

Why do they tease you about the way you look?
You're still beautiful to my eyes…
Why do they falsely claim your sexual orientation?
Why should they even care?
Perhaps it's out of fear,
Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter.
Pull your chin up and walk forward…

Thank You For BreathingI’m that trickle down your neck last week when you got upset.
That friend you’ve never met;
That kid you teased for being a teachers pet.
That kid who stays quiet when you get on his nerves;
The one who never got picked first;
The best at being last; Never been late for class; never got noticed for staying on task.
Know that’s there’s something special about being different.
I can’t explain it; not sure if it’s a gift or curse. It’s
Something about it makes me want to pick up a pen and write verses.
I feel like maybe God entrusted this mission to us; something more than Church.
Something more tha

CryDon’t cry anymore
For the fighting is over
Except within us

LoveHave you ever loved someone dearly?
Of course you have.
Watched their backs as they walked away,
Kept silent because you weren't sure what to say,
Only had a dollar but wanted to give them the world,
Ignored your friends so you can say hi to them,
It took all you're courage to even talk to them.

Felt down when you see them talking to someone else,
Afraid they would fall for them,
Spent hours thinking about them,
Knew they weren't perfect, but they had no flaws.
Thinking about what they said to you that day.
Could it be a sign? Or shall their feeling remain undefined.

Have you ever had your heart broken?
Of course you have,
Fe

The Girl in the sky

High up in the heavens,
rests a young girl with white wings,
she watches over us,
flocking her elegance across the sky,
her hair flows down to her hips,
like silk catching to the wind,

but in the midst of it all,
she was alone in this world,
tears fell from her angelic eyes,
those tears fell in the form of rain,
washing away our innocence,
washing away our sin,

she goes through endless dreams,
it was the happiest of it's kind,
it was the sadest of it's kind,
it was the brightest,
it was the darkest,
she could not awaken,
and on the final dream,
she would be gone,

no one loved her,
no one knew her,
no one hated her,
no

ParanoiaI running in the twilight,
Before the light is devoured by the night,
I have to get away.
I look behind me.
He's trying to kill me
I have to get away,
This is judgment day.
Is he a vampire or a werewolf?
A ghost looking for a host?
Even my breath escapes from me.
I can't run anymore it seems.
I feel I need caffeine,
Hopefully my mind will
Race away from the scene.
But it seems I've been running from my shadow.
A movie is a movie.

A PoemA Poem

By Dylan Seto

When dared with a difficult assignment,
I find myself writing.

It's become a way a life, no no no,
     it's become my life.
I can't change it.
So I accept it.

And I don't know the mechanism behind this because I'm a psychology major but I know that it yields problems.

I was asked,
     For English class,
To write an article.

It would sound like the perfect opportunity to put my attention deficit to use, right?

But I can't write today.
I can't get past a single word without looking,
     Without creeping into her life.
     Where is she now?
Who are her friends?
     I must know, for she is my pen.
The ink on the

MistakesIf every mistake I ever made
was a scar on my body
there would be no pure skin.

Every inch would host a jagged line
where my so called 'selfish pride'
managed to get the better of me.

Idiot mistakes of my youth,
and moronic declarations
of what I thought was insignificant.

Mistakes, errors of judgment,
a complete lapse in sense,
that litter my skin with memories of pain.

For a moment
I thought I was important
not someone to be overlooked.

My selfish pride betwixt me
for everything was little
compared to the pride I raised.

A fall to Earth
waking on concrete
no one besides me.

My mistakes are scars
littering my skin
ta

The GreatestI'm the greatest; I'm the greatest poet who ever lived.
I'm so great Shakespeare bows to me,
And when I talk, it's like a fucking symphony,
If life's a sea of competition, I'm swimming on top,
I'm a motherfuckin' dolphin.
Or a narwhale. I'm so awesome awesome-ness is doing bird calls
To fetch me.
This is so easy; it's like taking a breath to me.
I'm the Pokémon master of poetry,
It's my destiny.
I'm fly, I got pockets full of helium,
Words flow straight from my cerebrum,
Back to the 80s, I'm the top gun,

But it would be wrong to only praise myself.
Though they say it helps you're self-esteem by claiming you're weaknesses as a strengths.
So

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Your sweet DecayThe night sky was as dark
as the very thoughts that ran down my head,
your soul, is the one i was fed,
I someone has already broken your heart,
but this time, it's going to be torn apart,

my sweet darling, your such a fool,
you know, you know your just my tool,
Your hearts beating faster, faster,
pulls you closer to disaster,
I can smell your sweet decay,

your like a lily on a grave,
so elegant, yet so foul,
a light, in the grave of which I lay,
now I'll watch your sweet decay,
yes, I'll watch you rot,
I told you, your heart will be torn apart

Your life in black and whiteYour a needle away from death,
yet you persist,
how stupid can you be?
you know you have friends who care for you,
don't go throwing your life away,
think of how we feel...

wash these tears from the rain,
as you slowly die in vain.
dammit..how could you do this?
it's not right
it's not right...

you're still breathing,
though it's slowed down,
before it's too late,
stop this, will you come home?
think twice about it,
think about it at least...

your a brother to me,
don't do this,
You can talk to me about anything,
just take my hand,
your problem is mine,
this means everything to me,

you've hit rock bottom,
you can't get

I think I'll wait right hereBefore I knew it I was here,
how did I get here?

and soon you'll all hate me,
I know you will,
because i can't catch up to you,
just leave me behind,
don't let me pull you down,

If my legs could run,
I swear I would,
but I'm frozen to the ground,
it's from your cold stare,
can you look away for a bit?
I'm afraid of facing you,
it's not you, it's me,
and I hope you'll be gone,
when I turn around,

and I can't just keep running away, can I?
if you need me I'll be by the bay,
though i doubt you have anything to say,
I'm sure it was much better before i got here,
just feed me to the darkness,
it all I'm worth anyway,

If my le

A Tragedy Frozen in TimeSo put down your gun,
don't do it, it's not worth it,
put down your gun,
run into your friend's loving arms,
before the heaven's fall from their lost eyes,

i thought i held on tightly,
perhaps not tight enough,
I don't want to lose you,
don't leave our presence,

and didn't they tell you?
they'll always be there for you,
didn't they tell you?
I know it may be hard at times,
you may lose yourself at times,
but it's okay, we're all here for you,
it's not worth it man,
erase the darkness from you eyes,
freeze it in time,

a terror that makes the Gods themselves cry,
decending from the sky,
a terror that makes the Gods themselve

Your everythingYou know, I remember every word you ever said to me,
it's your show, when I look out to sea,
I was holding on just for you,
you know it's true,
walking pass,
walkng fast,
it's just so this will last,
but it won't and I know it,
tonight, it's the perfect fit,

deceiving myself,
just place this all on the shelf,
you wear my holy crown,
I need to get away from this town,
your beautiful array is
the one who's world's away,
yet close by, for you I would die,

letting fear lead the way,
I don't think I can stay,
the sounds, can you hear?
it's the sound of my fear,
my fear for what this will become,
for you, I'll play my drum,
I

I seek what I can't get alivein the dark array of life,
buried in the ruins,
a lesson for us all,
the spirites they're speaking to us,
they're predicting our fall,
we better take out the coffins,
trust me, we're all sleeping there tonight,

the voices are wispering to us,
angered by our greed,
our sins, they're here to rid of us,
don't look back now,
it already too late as we bleed,
we must kill the reapers we feed

It's okay,
we see truths no one knows,
don't look back,
we've seen what no one want to see,
don't worry,
we can make it,
it's over,
we were all dead from the beginning anyway

I hate what we've become,
I hate what this world has become,

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Submitted: October 27, 2012
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Bittersweet

by ~xxdraxx, Oct 27, 2012, 10:51:33 AM
Literature / Poetry / Spiritual / Traditional Fixed Forms

The taste of passion is bittersweet,
In the morning, guilt is quick to greet,
But bow you're head low towards the Lord,
And the he will make you feel complete.

Bittersweetby ~xxdraxx

Literature / Poetry / Spiritual / Traditional Fixed Forms

A quatrain.

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." James 4:10

Critique by !Kymira12 Nov 7, 2012, 11:06:19 PM

#InspireTheUninspired

I placed the group name because that is where I found your piece

'The taste of passion is bittersweet,' is a great open liner, it sets you up for the rest and lets us know that the beginning may not be all sweetness. It is an overused phrase and cliche though so maybe a way to fix that is to try an find a word that rhymes with Lord but keeps the same meaning.

'In the morning, guilt is quick to greet,' very simple yet it is effective when placing it with the rest of the poem.

'But bow you're head low towards the Lord,' is a line that I have trouble with. You're essentially means You Are so when it is read in my mind I am reading 'bow you are head low' so I think a better choice for that would be to change it to 'your'. When it says 'low towards the Lord' I get the wrong sense than what I think you mean. By bowing towards the Lord, from the line, you are looking to the ground. Do you understand what I mean by that? Also, this overall line seems like it needs a bit more work in terms of wording. Something like 'Present yourself to the Lord, lowering your body'.

'And the he will make you feel complete.' is a good ending line but there was a typo. I think what you meant to write was 'then' instead of 'the'. In my opinion, the line would benefit from getting rid of the first two lines as they are pretty much redundant. For this line, I think it could be a little more powerful with it's emotion.

The overall theme is something I will not comment on though I will comment on everything else. This piece is really simplistic and does not contain much impact for me and that is what a piece like this really needs. If you are going to place something so short it needs a little more emotion and description, that can be created if you expanded this piece a little more. As it stands, it seems a little more distant from a personal stand point and offers hardly any of the impact I look for in poetry. Another thing is your capitalization. Think of your piece like it is a sentence, would you place a capital letter after a comma? Overall, you did a good job.

Please remember that I did not mean to offend you if I did so and what I have written is strictly my thoughts and opinions. Have a good day

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Critique by *parchmentgirl Nov 3, 2012, 6:37:26 AM

The first two lines leave the piece open to wonderful interpretations of why the morning must bring guilt, and what exactly the persona in this piece has been up to, in order to deserve the guilt.
However, the last line throws off the balance of the poem. The pattern of syllables doesn't match with the rest of the stanza, and the increased length of the third line increases the fractured appearance of a very short last line. This seems to create a stalled and stuttered ending, not quite the sort of tone that complements the idea of forgiveness and the supposed serenity that would come along with it.
Very short pieces can be incredibly useful and packing a punch, and really getting a theme across to the reader in a powerful way. But to do this you must really condense the story line and remember that every word counts.
My advice would be to run through this again, read it out-loud in order to see if the rhythm works, and also look at each word individually. Make sure that the words you pick all help towards building your story/narrative/idea.
A very nice starting point, I look forward to coming across your work again.

critique admin CJF

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*missq1959 Nov 11, 2012

very nice

~xxdraxx Nov 18, 2012 Student Writer

thanks!

~rEtrOspeXX Oct 29, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

I like the reference personally, this is good

~xxdraxx Oct 30, 2012 Student Writer

thank yew

~MsSilith Oct 29, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

well done

~xxdraxx Oct 30, 2012 Student Writer

Thanks xP

~EviL-Ju-ju Oct 28, 2012

It is short simple but well written. Thought I kind of do mind the religious reference but you do have the right so I won't restrict you from it.

~xxdraxx Oct 30, 2012 Student Writer

haha don't worry about it, I was agnostic for a good part of my life, I felt exactly as you did at some point in my life.

..that makes me feel old...I'm only 16...

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Bittersweet

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